I remember being a little surprised at seeing only one or two typos. You use the English language very well, in fact, impressively well. On the other ...and, the characters are wooden, some of the dialogue is stilted, and the plot is very predictable. It would be possible to spruce up the characters and fix the dialogue, but the plot, well, it would be hard to do much to it without a major rewrite. I'm normally far out of town so wouldn't be able to work with you personally, but I could give you. ’ ‘As you wish. I could have a quiet word in the gents.’ ‘No, I’ll be fine, thanks all the same.’ I tried to avoid Paul and Nigel by accepting invitations to dance from several other men to dance with them. While we were stumbling around the floor I was conscious of Paul’s eyes watching my every move. I was sure that I had hurt his feelings by not allowing him to dance with me. This was more or less confirmed when, as I was being seated by my partner at the end of a painful foxtrot and another. "It's sad really, I'm a bloody disgrace to the society of Asian shopkeepers aren't I?"We all laughed and Jill kissed him on the cheek."Well, I happen to think that you're a very nice man Joe, so there!"He suddenly remembered a million things he had to do in the back room and shook all our hands."Don't be a stranger Tommy, or you Polly, see you soon Jill." and he disappeared."You've embarrassed him," mum said to Polly and laughed."She fancies him," I added and she coloured up beautifully."Well,. "Are you sure dear?" pressed the lead nosey parker, "You seemed quiteoverwhelmed." I'm fine," I repeated as I thanked them for their concerns."OK ladies, panic over now. I'm taking her back to the ward," declaredDoctor Cockless, thus re-establishing her medical credentials. The nurses and auxiliaries then backed off and watched me as I traipsedoff down the corridor with Doctor Cockless. I had to admit, once I had'blossomed, it felt much nicer and sexier to be tripping about in heelsand.
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